You know you have to keep your eyes on the prize: water safety, making your relationship stronger (not more frustrating or angst-ridden), and teaching your kids to associate the water and your lessons with fun and pleasure. Sometimes it’s tough to maintain that focus when things aren’t going smoothly. What do you do?

What you need is a–

Quick, Easy, Fun Way to Keep Focused on What’s Important

Write the key things you want to focus on and remember on an index card. Read the index card before every lesson.

Ask your kids to help you stay focused. Tell them that you plan to be patient and that you want them to be patient, too. Think of a code you can use if one of you forgets. How about “apple sauce” as the code for patience? Ask them to use the code if they think you’re forgetting to focus on being patient.

It may sound silly, but it works. Last Christmas, my son, who’s six, was putting ornaments on the tree. He broke one, and glass shards flew all over the room. In a rare moment of holiday spirit, I responded just right, calmly telling him that it was no big deal, it happens to everyone, it was replaceable, and that he was more important to me than any object he could possibly break. He mentioned that he wished I was always that calm when something went wrong.

Since then, “Christmas ornament” has been his code phrase to me to practice patience and put things in perspective. Not only does it never fail–and it’s put to the test a lot–but also it puts me in a grateful holiday spirit any time of the year.

You can use different code words for different aspects of attitude or different parts of the goal you want to stay focused on. If you’re starting to feel frustrated, hearing your child break out the “apple sauce” code will be enough to bring back your smile and remind you of your priorities. Safe. Fun. Happy.