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How to Set Expectations When You’re Teaching Your Kids to Swim

It’s hard to get where you want to go if you don’t have a clearly defined goal. How do you define that goal when you’re teaching your kids to swim?

Think of what your child is capable of on land. If your baby is just learning to crawl, he’ll be able to similarly explore moving his body in the water, but don’t expect mastery. If your child can walk and run with great coordination, you can expect him to develop similar coordination in the water with practice. Keep your expectations reasonable.

Think about how much practice it took on land to develop the level of mastery your child has, though. Remember the process of learning to crawl, walk or run. At the beginning, it looked awkward and ungainly. Only with time and lots of practice did those movements become a natural way for your child’s body to move. Swimming will be the same. Keep your expectations reasonable.

Keep your expectations about form reasonable. Good form will help your child swim farther and faster, but his body might not be capable of good form. Swimming is like dance, tennis, or golf. Kids learn quickly, but until their minds and bodies are developed enough, don’t expect them to have the level of mastery you’d see in an adult.

Be aware of what it takes to achieve mastery. Athletes practice for a long time thinking about their form. At some point, it becomes second nature—internalized. Without thinking about it, they continue to improve. Learning to swim involves thinking and feeling in a very conscious way for a long time, and there’s a lot to think about and a lot to feel. At some point, the knowledge starts to move into your child’s body instead of just his head, just like walking or riding a bike. Many recent studies have pointed out that the amount of practice required to achieve mastery of a skill is ten thousand hours. It would take your child many years to get that much practice. Have you spent ten thousand hours of your life swimming? That’s an hour a day for almost thirty years. In the meantime (you know what’s coming!), keep your expectations reasonable.

Have I driven you crazy with the “keep your expectations reasonable” mantra? I’ve repeated it because it’s so important. The way your child feels about swimming will depend in large part on your feelings and your feedback. If your expectations are reasonable, you’ll feed his motivation to keep trying. If your expectations are unreasonable, you’ll be frustrated, he’ll be frustrated, neither of you will have any fun, and he’ll want to stay out of the pool and quit rather than disappoint you.

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9 Tricks to Create a Winning Atmosphere When You’re Teaching Your Kids to Swim

In order to learn to swim, your kids have to be receptive to learning. You can create an atmosphere that’s conducive to learning by remembering these 9 Do’s.

Do trust yourself.

You know your kids, and you have it in you to teach them to swim.

Do relax.

Your kids will pick up on how you’re feeling. Practice relaxation techniques if you need to. Set reasonable expectations and don’t rush. Take a break if you feel yourself getting anxious.

Do be patient with yourself.

You’re not going to do this perfectly. The beautiful part is that you don’t have to. You and your kids can and will have fun while you’re teaching them to swim, even if you do (and you will!) make mistakes along the way. Don’t beat yourself up over the mistakes. Just move on.

Do be patient with your child.

Your kids will make mistakes, too. They’ll probably have some bad days when they’re just not in the mood. Even when they are trying, there will be some things that won’t come quickly or easily. If you find yourself getting frustrated, take a break. The most important thing is that you’re having fun working together to do something that will keep your kids safe.

Do use a nurturing, positive attitude.

If you provide emotional support and make it fun, your kids will want to get into the pool for their next swimming lesson.

Do be calm but enthusiastic.

You set the tone. If you freak out, your kids will, too. Be enthusiastic, but keep calm so that your kids will be confident and ready to learn.

Do be honest.

If you tell your kids you’ll do something, do it. If you tell them you won’t, don’t. Never dunk your kids if you’ve told them you won’t. Never tell them, “just one more time,” if you plan on having them do something three more times. They have to be able to trust you to relax enough to learn, and being honest with them will build that trust.

Do think of the unspoken message your actions send your child.

If you make a big deal about it when your kids make mistakes or get water in their noses, they’ll get the message that those things are a big deal. Respond the way you want your kids to understand.

Do have fun!

Keep your eyes on the prize. You’re helping your kids become water safe, but you’re also spending time with them and building memories. Have fun. Give them hugs and get some back. Learning to swim is critical to your kids’ safety, but the process of teaching them to swim can be fun for everyone.

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How to Use an Elite Athletes’ Trick to Improve Your Kids’ Swimming

When you’re teaching your kids to swim, there are limits to what you can do. There’s only so much time you can spend in the pool. There’s only so much practice your kids can do before they get tired out. But there’s a trick that elite athletes use to break free of these limits, and you and your kids can use them, too.

Visualize Movement

Studies have shown that athletes get as much benefit from visualizing their performance in great detail as they do from physically practicing (up to a point—you’ve got to get in the water, too). Many elite athletes use visualization as part of their training. It’s safe. It’s portable. It helps build confidence and comfort. It doesn’t tire out your child’s body. It’s also a great distraction when you’re stuck in traffic or waiting in line. (Just make sure the driver isn’t doing the visualizing.)

Guide your child through a visualization of the skill you’re working on. Paint him a picture with words. Use descriptions of what he’ll be experiencing with all of his senses. Describe how the pool and the water look. Describe how the water feels. Describe the smell and the sounds of the pool. Describe how he’ll move his body and how that will feel. The more vivid the visualization, the more effective it will be.

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How Pavlov’s Dogs Can Help Your Kids in Any Tense Situation

When you’re teaching your kids to swim, there are going to be times when they’re anxious or nervous. Trying something new always takes and effort, and in this case, the cost of making a mistake could be an uncomfortable gulp or snort of water. That’s enough to make anybody nervous. There’s a way that you can help your kids to relax immediately when you’re teaching them to swim, or under any circumstances. Pavlov and his dogs are the key.

Pavlov rang a bell whenever he fed his dogs, creating an association between the sound of the bell and being fed. Eventually, the dogs developed a conditioned response: salivating at the sound of a bell. You can use the same technique to help your kids relax when you’re teaching them to swim.

Start on Dry Land

You can practice relaxation techniques on dry land. Learning to swim will be easier if your child is relaxed. Kids tend to tense up under the pressure of learning a new skill in the water. You can help your child relax by teaching him how outside the water.

  • Have him lie flat on his back.
  • Ask him to make his body tight all over. You can help him by touching his body if he’s having trouble. For example, you can touch his thigh and say, “squeeze this part of your body tight.” You can ask him to squeeze one body part at a time, working his way up from his toes to his face.
  • Have him hold his breath for a few seconds.
  • Tell him to let it all go at once, and teach him a word for this. It could just be, “Relax,” but a funny, made-up word that’s your secret is more fun.
  • After he relaxes his muscles, have him take a few deep belly breaths.

Move It into the Water

After you practice this relaxation technique regularly for a while on solid ground, you can transfer it to the pool. When you feel your child tensing up, say your secret, funny, made-up word for relax, and he’ll respond by releasing the tension from his muscles.