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5 Tips for Dealing with Your Kids’ Fear of the Water

When you’re teaching your kids to swim, you might run into trouble with fear of the water. Kids without experience in the water tend to develop a fear of the water as they get older. Most three- and four-year-olds don’t have an entrenched fear of the water. Seven- and eight-year-olds without swimming experience often do. What should you do if your kids are afraid of the water?

How to Deal with Fear of the Water When You Teach Kids to Swim

It’s not unusual for kids to be afraid of the water when they start swimming lessons. You can’t start teaching any swimming skills until the kids are comfortable with the idea of going in the water. These tips will help you up their comfort level and get them past their fear.

Acknowledge that this fear is reasonable.

Being careful around the water is always smart, but before you can swim, that caution comes from a constant awareness of the possibility of drowning. Kids learn about that possibility in a variety of ways. They remember slips in the bathtub. They swallow water the wrong way and cough when they’re learning to drink out of a cup. They see characters in cartoons struggling before going under permanently. They listen to older kids.

Be patient.

If your child is afraid of the water, your best tool is patience. You might already know where his fear originated or how it developed. If you don’t, probe gently for an answer. It’s possible that his fear stems from a misconception that you can quickly correct.

Don’t force it.

If your child becomes upset or doesn’t want to talk about his fear, don’t force him. Instead, start very slowly to work on getting him comfortable with the water before trying to get into the water.

Provide examples.

Point out other kids playing in the water and let your child watch without pressuring him to get in. Point out the ways that water is already a part of his life—from drinking, to taking a bath, to playing in the rain or running through the sprinklers.

Start small.

Have your child sit near the pool. Get your hands wet and gently stroke your child with your wet hands, spreading the water first on his arms and legs and then on his hair and face.

See if he’ll dip his fingers into the water with you next to him. Encourage him to dip just his feet, and then his legs, into the water while you stand in the pool in front of him.

Don’t force your child into the water. If he starts to become upset with something you’re trying, stop and go back to an activity he is comfortable with, even if it’s just taking a sip of water. Be supportive and patient, and work to keep your own expectations under control. If your child is still as afraid as ever after a few weeks of gently easing him into contact with the water, consider taking a break from trying for a while. If he remains very afraid after weeks of trying and a break, consider having him work through the fear with a child psychologist.

If your child is too afraid of the water to take a bath, he’s not ready to learn to swim. Try having him sit in an empty tub and play with toys while you sit with him, either in the tub or just outside the tub. When he becomes comfortable with that, offer him a warm glass of water or a bucket that he can pour into the tub himself when he feels like it. Over the course of several weeks, go through the exercise every day, gradually moving to adding increasing amounts of water from the faucet. Only after your child is completely comfortable in the bath should you consider trying to start to teach him to swim.

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6 Tips for Making the Most of Each Swimming Lesson

Keep these six tips in mind when you’re teaching your kids to swim, and you’ll maximize your bang for the minutes spent in the water.

Tips for Getting the Most out of Every Swimming Lesson

Making the most of every swimming lesson will give your kids the best chance of learning to swim quickly and painlessly. Keep these tips in mind while you’re teaching and planning your swimming lessons.

Start exposing your child to water as early in life as possible.

Fear and uncertainty are more likely to develop as kids get older. The sooner they get used to feeling comfortable in the water, the easier it will be for you to teach them to swim.

Have short, frequent lessons.

Kids’ minds and bodies get tired quickly. Don’t let distraction and discomfort detract from the learning experience. Teach your kids to swim in short bursts as often as possible.

Provide as much opportunity to practice as possible, and make sure that a good chunk of that is unstructured.

When you’re teaching your kids to swim, give them time to explore the skills you’re teaching. They’ll learn a lot from self-directed practice.

Set aside time for a play activity that your child chooses in the middle and at the end of each lesson.

When you’re teaching them to swim, keeping it fun will keep your kids wanting more. Even if they’re working hard on something, knowing that they get to have fun—and decide exactly what form the fun will—take will help keep your kids motivated while they’re learning.

Teach in three to four feet of water, where an adult can stand firmly without feeling too buoyant.

Safety is the first priority when you’re teaching your kids to swim. Making them feel secure is important, too. Make sure that you’re as stable as possible so that you can provide solid physical support.

Practice swimming toward the wall or steps.

When you’re teaching a swimming lesson, part of what you’re doing is establishing habits. If you’re kids get used to swimming toward the wall during a lesson, it will make heading toward the wall automatic, a great thing in case of emergencies.

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Feelings: The Difference between Success and Failure

What difference do feelings make when you’re teaching your kids to swim? After all, they’re just feelings. It turns out they make all the difference. Here’s why.

The Difference between Success and Failure in a Swimming Lesson

Knowing the impact of kids’ feelings and perspectives on success and failure can make the difference between your success and failure when you’re teaching them to swim.

Feelings matter

Kids learn best when they feel safe and supported, physically and emotionally.

  • Tension in your child’s body makes it harder to learn a physical skill.
  • Emotional tension makes it harder to retain and process information.

What You Can Do

If you feel relaxed and confident and you’re having fun, it will be easier for your child to feel relaxed and confident and have fun. Create an atmosphere of fun, freedom, and exploration to help your child feel secure enough to learn.

Feeling Successful

According to a recent study of eight- to thirteen-year-old kids, kids’ opinions of what makes a good swimmer have everything to do with effort: if you’re doing your best—trying hard and practicing—you’re good. Kids care about the process more than the outcome. Defining success based on the process instead of outcome will help kids to remain engaged and feel successful. Feeling successful will make them want to keep trying.

What You Can Do

Emphasize the importance of practice for improvement. That fits how kids think about things and gives them control over their own success.

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Know These Five Keys to Kids’ Learning to Get a Head Start When You’re Teaching Children to Swim

If you know how kids learn, teaching them to swim becomes much easier. Here are the five keys to kids’ learning.

Kids learn by playing

When kids—and adults, for that matter—play, they explore situations beyond what they’ve actually experienced, develop problem-solving skills, and create new neural networks. When they’re creating huge towers out of blocks, they’re learning physics. When they play princess or imagine being cats, they’re learning sociology and psychology. When they play with plants or bugs, they’re learning biology. They’re also learning how to think, they’re learning about themselves and other people, and they’re creating friendships with the people they play with. Playing is a safe way for the brain to learn, because you can use your imagination without risk.

You can take advantage of this by using your imagination to create games and ways of looking at the lessons you’re teaching that turn them into play. You can make improving form a game. This is also a chance for you to play yourself and to play with your child. (If you need ideas, check out the 150+ games and activities I’ve put together to help.)

Kids learn by figuring it out themselves

Kids learn best by thinking and solving problems. When kids figure things out themselves, they remember what they learn better and longer. Help and encourage your kids to explore, and point them gently in the directions that will be more useful to them.

Kids learn in short spurts

Kids can focus intensely, but their attention spans aren’t as long as adults’ attention spans. Short and frequent lessons are better than long, occasional sessions. If you have easy access to a pool, two or three fifteen- or twenty-minute lessons a day would be ideal. (Don’t worry, three fifteen-minute lessons a week will yield progress, too. It just won’t be as fast.)

Kids need lots of practice

Practice is key. Studies have shown that complete mastery of a skill takes around ten thousand hours of practice. Most of our kids won’t achieve this level of mastery in their swimming even as adults, but each hour of practice brings them that much closer to the level of skill they need to be safe and confident in the water.

Provide as much opportunity to practice as possible, and make sure that a good chunk of that is unstructured.

Kids sometimes get stuck

Plateaus are normal. So are setbacks. Sometimes increased awareness of what’s going on can actually make performance worse for a while, but that awareness is critical. It’s part of the learning process.

Your child might get frustrated or discouraged at this point and want to stop trying. At first, he wasn’t aware of the mistakes he was making. Now that he’s got more awareness, he’s able to focus on the mistakes he was making before but just didn’t notice. Encourage him and let him know that the experience is part of getting better. It’s the perfect time to incorporate a game into practice.